text (Lucy) | un: schadenfreude

[scarredhorns]

[Lucy's noticed how the internet here doesn't allow one to post anonymously, so she decides to go with a username that she'll probably never use again. It's the closest thing she's got to anonymous.]

So, I went through the whole forum and it doesn't look like this has been asked before.

Who else was dead, or in the process of dying when they arrived here?

Comments

[scarredhorns]

I had no family, just my friends.
I died to protect them.

[There's a pause before her next response pops up, since she wasn't sure what else to say.]

Sorry... I've never been great at comforting people.
Is there nothing you can do to change it?

[Only reason that Lucy isn't really looking into changing her own fate is because she has already accepted it.]

[disasterstraight]

Dying to protect others is a noble way to die. I don't know if I am fated to do the same, but I would, in order to protect my loved ones.

[ Too bad his wife apparently dies shortly after him. ]

I don't know how I would be able to change things. If my world is frozen in time, it may well be a moot point.

[scarredhorns]

So there's nothing you can do at all once you return to your world and time starts moving again?

I was already dead, so it's too late for me. I don't regret the decision I made, though.
I had used my life to do nothing but kill.
At least, in the very end, I was able to use it in a wonderful way.
And with my death, my friends won't be in dragged into danger anymore. The people who were hunting me won't bother them any longer.

[The truth-telling effects of the blue minobi are still active in Lucy, allowing her to be more honest.]

[disasterstraight]

I do not know. No one has yet told me exactly how it is that I am to die.
If it is something that a simple action or inaction can prevent, then I will do what I can.
If not... I am not sure what I will do.

[ Jin Zixuan doesn't have the excuse of a truth-telling minobi... He just has things he needs to get off his chest, and baring his soul to a stranger online seems as good a way as any to rid himself of this burden. ]

I am certain your friends will be grateful of your sacrifice.
Sorrowful, but grateful as well.

[scarredhorns]

Wait, if people from your world told you of your upcoming death in the first place, why haven't they told you how it happens yet?

[As for the issue of not knowing what to do if the death is unpreventable.]

But if it can't be changed, I'd say hug your family, kiss them, and tell them goodbye.
If you don't, that regret could follow you into the afterlife, and living with regrets while you're still alive is already bad enough.

[Lucy would know. She carried the regrets of not confessing her feelings to Kouta sooner and of murdering his family until the day of her death. Except, she's not dead here, so even now, those regrets lingered in her heart.]

Unfortunately, I didn't get to kiss the one I loved before I passed. I was able to hold him, and I'm grateful that I was allowed that much, but I can't deny that a kiss would've been nice too.

[disasterstraight]

I don't know. I know the circumstances that led to it, at least, but none of the actual details of the event itself. I know that someone was blamed for my death who turned out to be innocent. I know that my death was used as a stepping stone for my bastard half-brother to gain power. I know that my wife follows me into death not long after, leaving our infant son an orphan.
All this gives context, but brings me very little satisfaction to know.

[ He isn't sure it's possible to be "satisfied" with one's own death, anyway. ]

I will at least kiss my wife goodbye, and hold my baby boy one last time, before he grows into a man without me.

CW: child abandonment

[scarredhorns]

[Seriously? How does she always end up in conversations about family? Although she knows now that her mother had tried searching for her and that it had only been her father who left her to die, family is still a complicated topic for Lucy.]

Did they tell you whether or not your son grew up with the knowledge that his parents loved him? Or does he become embittered?

[She hones in on the son because she could relate to being an orphan. In a rare show of empathy, she hopes the child didn't go down the same pathway of thinking that she did. Even though she's dead in her world, Lucy continues to wonder how different her life might have been had she known sooner that her mother was out there, looking for her. Maybe they could have found each other...]

[disasterstraight]

[ Oh, boy. She doesn't realize what she's just asked. ]

It is complicated.
My son is here, but he is here from years into my future, when he is nearly grown.
He was raised by his uncles. My wife's brother, and my half brother. They did the best they could, given the circumstances. But it is clear that his life would have been better, had we gotten the chance to raise him ourselves.

[scarredhorns]

I don't really know what to tell you. This is your family business, not mine.

[While she does sympathize with the son, she'd still prefer not to meddle in another person's family matters. In the end, it was none of her business.]

As a fellow orphan, all I can suggest is that you try to find some way to convey your love for him, without forcing it on him. Whether or not he comes around is up to him, but it's only natural that he'll try to brush you off at first if he hasn't already.

[Damn blue minobi! Even with the anonymity of the internet, she wishes she could refrain from talking about it. Yet deep down, Lucy's mind was begging to get it off her chest instead of letting it fester inside her heart.]

It's not easy for us to suddenly accept our parents' love after growing up without it.