text (Lucy) | un: schadenfreude

[scarredhorns]

[Lucy's noticed how the internet here doesn't allow one to post anonymously, so she decides to go with a username that she'll probably never use again. It's the closest thing she's got to anonymous.]

So, I went through the whole forum and it doesn't look like this has been asked before.

Who else was dead, or in the process of dying when they arrived here?

Comments

[scarredhorns]

Over half a year???

[diabolique]

That's right.

[scarredhorns]

Do you want to return home as soon as possible, or do you like it here better?

[diabolique]

I don't think I'm getting home any time soon. Besides, I'm probably safer here.

[scarredhorns]

What makes you say that? I thought you were an evil spirit?

Although, it seems like I'm definitely safer here. Haven't seen any enemies from home so far.

[diabolique]

I have a lot of enemies at home because people *think* I'm evil.

[scarredhorns]

I see...
It's very easy for people to point fingers and call someone evil.
I didn't grow up dreaming that I'd become a villain, but since people refused to see me as anything else, I got tired of trying to convince them otherwise.

[This is the truth-telling effect of the blue minobi at work.]

What about you? Did you try to convince them otherwise?

[diabolique]

I tried to do what was right but the people in charge told everyone it was wrong.

CW: mentioned violence committed by a child

[scarredhorns]

I have an idea of how that feels.
I tried to keep to myself, but people just wouldn't leave me alone.
I wasn't trying to look for trouble. But it eventually got to a point where I lost my temper in a deadly way, and that was it for me.

[Because that was when the DNA Voice awakened, the day she killed the ones who bullied her at the orphanage. And she allowed it to manipulate her for years, a realization that still shames her even now.]

[diabolique]

I understand what that's like.

[scarredhorns]

You do?

[The amount of people who have been sympathizing is astonishing to Lucy, even more so when they don't even know who the other person is due to the anonymity of the internet.]

cw: mention of mass murder

[diabolique]

I lost control and killed a lot of people. A LOT.

cw: mention of mass murder

[scarredhorns]

So have I.
The first time wasn't exactly intentional. I flew into a blind rage and I did want to hurt those people the way they hurt me. I just didn't think my thoughts would become reality.
The rest that followed, though? All intentional.
Even I'm not sure of the exact number of people I've killed.

But I don't intend to continue killing here, at least, not without a justifiable cause such as self-defense. I may be dead, but I promised someone just before my death that I would stop.

[diabolique]

You're not dead here.

CW: mentioned suicide

[scarredhorns]

No, but that doesn't change the reality waiting for me back home.

[Sorry, she just has to be a Johnny Rain Cloud.]

I don't regret my decision to die, though.
In the end, despite how I lived my life, I was able to use it to protect the one I loved.

[diabolique]

Consider this your second chance.

[scarredhorns]

That's what everyone's been telling me.
I still don't think I deserve it, but... I'm here now so
It's not like I got anything better to do. I don't have the luxury of another chance once I get home either.