text (Lucy) | un: schadenfreude

[scarredhorns]

[Lucy's noticed how the internet here doesn't allow one to post anonymously, so she decides to go with a username that she'll probably never use again. It's the closest thing she's got to anonymous.]

So, I went through the whole forum and it doesn't look like this has been asked before.

Who else was dead, or in the process of dying when they arrived here?

Comments

[royaladvice]

They're the loops that happened before I came here. So, everyone has them? Fuck, I need to talk to more people. I didn't know that.

That sounds... deeply traumatizing. For what little it's worth coming from some weirdo stranger on a network, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Through all of this.

Yeah. In my tribe we use rituals when people have deep feelings, especially painful ones. It's not just about making it get better or go away. We believe that if you don't take a moment to honour with physical symbols what's happened, or to honour the strong emotions that one feels, that it can fester. That builds up and it starts to attack you. You might not fight as well when we go into battle. You might get an illness, or be more prone to disease. So it helps the whole tribe if we make sure to take care of those unsettled feelings people have. A ritual can help you process it, or help you to put it to rest in some ways and move on from there.

I don't mean that it makes you forget it. For example, my mother was murdered, and the pain from that was very raw and bitter. I had to push on through a lot of events and pretend I was fine. I had no time to be angry or grieve. I couldn't think about anything but getting revenge, and rage built up.

After I had time and could complete a ritual for myself and her, it gave me a feeling of some peace. I was sad, still, and I could remember her, but I had allowed myself time to feel the things I rightly felt. And then I could offer it up to her spirit. It didn't feel like poison inside anymore. It helped me feel that I could go on. That I could be secure in myself.

[scarredhorns]

My painful memories festered alright. I also pretended that I was fine. It seemed to work at first, but in the end, it all fell apart.

I don't think a ritual would do me any good since I'm already dead back in my world. I can't change anything back home anymore.

[royaladvice]

Sometimes the ritual is for you to process how you feel inside. Sometimes we need a symbol of the pain and the mistakes we made. Maybe you use an item that represents things you did that hurt someone. You touch it and put all of the hurt and pain or guilt inside it. Then you can burn it and send all of that to the gods. Cleansing yourself.

That's the kind of thing I do for people back home. People can tell us to move on or just be fine with something but it doesn't work that way for most of us.

I won't push you, though. If you ever want to try it, look me up.

[scarredhorns]

[She's already said how she doesn't think it'll make a difference, so she won't repeat that, but what the hell--She'll humor this person a little. Plus, Nyuu may want to try it someday.]

I'll keep that in mind. Will I be able to contact you with the same user name you're using now?

[royaladvice]

Yup. I'll keep this one. It's cool.

Thread wrap-up

[scarredhorns]

Alright then.