jikan_network | un: shiemi | forward dated to 2/2

I like you, too, Yuki-chan!

[ She says it with certainty and so much affection the words themselves might burst. She doesn't think twice about how he might mean that because, to her, it's obvious. ]

I like you a lot. You're my friend and I'm glad it was you.

[She says it, bright and sincere and Yukio feels a lot of things, too many things, all at once. There's a moment, bright and hopeful when he thinks oh, and he thinks she likes me, and--

and she continues, just as bright and kind and it hurts worse that way, worse than if she turned him away on purpose.

There's a moment when he stares, shocked into silence. That's it, that's all, he said I like you and if she really liked him the same way she wouldn't assume he meant I like you as my friend. He should give up, he should just accept that this is what his life is going to be like.

But he doesn't want to, he's selfish, he wants things he can't have, says things he shouldn't and ruins everything, so why should he stop now, why should he just give up before making sure she knows exactly where he really stands on this issue. He's so tired of keeping everything shoved down inside him.]

Shiemi-san. [He says, with something like a smile, something tired and worn down.]

I didn't mean-- I didn't just mean that I like you as my friend.

You didn't...?

[ He didn't mean... as a friend? Then, if he didn't mean that he liked her as a friend, then he means -- ]

[ Then he means he likes her as -- ]

Y-y-you mean you l-like me as --

[ As what? Is he actually saying what she thinks he might be saying?? That he likes her as... more than a friend? ]

I'm sorry, I don't want to pressure you into anything, or to make you uncomfortable, and it's okay if you just like me as a friend, but I--

I do, I like you. A lot.

[ If Shiemi hadn't already been sitting down, she would be now; and yet, it feels like she should be going through the motion all over again. Yuki-chan... likes her as more than a friend? He likes her a lot and her head is a mess while her heart is pounding in her chest, threatening to jump into her throat and she doesn't know --

She isn't entirely sure what this is, this feeling that runs in time with that sudden, persistent exclamation. That's my Yuki-chan, it exclaims, as surely as though Sanguis were in the sky overhead, as though it was the most natural... agreement? In the world.

Is this Sanguis somehow? In Lunatia, she'd been mostly certain it was, but this isn't Prismatica and there's no red moon over their heads here. The troubles of Assiah aren't here either, just... her and her Yuki-chan and what does she do with all this? Her feelings and Yuki-chan's, too -- and he's standing there, with that expression on his face --

Her eyes drop to the collar she grips in her hand for a quiet moment, then, wordlessly, she stands up and steps toward him, taking a deep breath. ]

Yuki-chan, lean down.

[She doesn't say anything he's expecting her to say, but she looks down at that all-too-familiar object in her hands, looks up at him with determination. He has the start of an idea of what she wants, what's going to happen as she stands and steps towards him.

So he leans down, and--

he really wants to kiss her. He doesn't.]

Edited (typo) 2021-02-15 04:12 (UTC)

[ He leans down and she lifts her hands to fix the collar about his neck where it belongs because he's her Yuki-chan. She takes the time to properly adjust it. Not too loose, but not too tight -- comfortably firm is her aim. When she looks up into his face to see if she's got it just right, she pauses. Her lips part slightly. The question on the tip of her tongue slips her mind as she goes up on her tiptoes and gently kisses the side of Yukio's mouth.

Because he's her Yuki-chan. Because she's wanted to do something like this with him for what feels like a long time. She's up, then down on her feet proper.

Did... did she just do that?? ]

[He doesn't kiss her. Her hands are on his neck, gentle as she adjusts the collar, a brush of fingers, the pressure of the collar adjusted and resettled. It's electric. He can't think, he can't breathe. She looks at his throat with slightly parted lips and he doesn't lean down, doesn't kiss her, as much as he desperately wants to.

Instead, she raises herself onto her tiptoes and---

oh

oh

]

..Shiemi-san?

[He asks, senselessly, no real question behind it, just dazed astonishment. He's wanted that for ages, years even. He likes her. He likes her so much he can't breathe, so much that there's nothing in his always-racing mind except I like her so much.

He wants to kiss her.

He reaches out, rests a hand on the side of her face. Leans down.

He doesn't kiss her.]

Can I--? [Is he even allowed to? After all this time, after knowing her, after she knows him more than anyone else does, is he allowed to kiss her?]

[ Can he...? Her lashes flutter with his question even as she leans her cheek into the warmth of his hand. Her heart is racing a thousand little butterflies in her chest.

Can he? ]

Un!

[ She nods. ]

[His heart is pounding. His hand moves down her face, light touch until he tilts her chin just slightly up, until he leans down and presses a gentle kiss to her lips.]

[ If Shiemi's face was red before, and it was, it's that much more red now. She can't hear a thing over the sound of her heart swelling in her chest, racing in her ears. She doesn't go up on her toes this time, but she does press her lips gently against his in return. ]

[He pulls back after a moment, his face as red as hers.]

I've wanted to do that for years. [He admits quietly, a little embarrassed by the confession. Maybe he shouldn't say it, maybe it's weird to admit it, but he needs her to know.]

Y-you have?

[ For years? When had he...? ]

I have. I've liked you for a long time.

I had no idea.

I know. [He says, and oh how much he knows it.] It was supposed to be a secret.

Wh-why was it supposed to be a secret?

[Because he loves her so much. Because when she smiled at him he feels his heart will burst. Because the quiet moments alone with her stand out bright and shining as the happiest of his life.

Because if she rejected him, if a confession from him ruined their friendship, he couldn't stand to lose her.]

Because my life isn't easy. [Before Rin awoke, the secrets hanging heavy over him. After, it somehow all got worse.] I didn't want to drag you into it.

[But now it's out in the open. Hopefully it doesn't make him sound like a creep.]

un: shiemi | forward dated to 2/2

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