Video | un: nightwanderer

[dragonrising]

[He's been thinking about this for a few weeks now, dwelling on it as he continues to settle in here. It's enough that he feels he could ask about it. See how many have a similar connection...]

Good evening. I had a question I thought I'd like to present to you all. A curiosity really.

How many of you are familiar with those known as Immortals? It is alright if you only know of them through stories or myths. Largely I'm just wondering how much is known of them. What you know of them.

Whatever you wish to share, I will listen to. Thank you.


[ooc: Spoilers for like...almost the whole of Ashes of Love in the thread with Xingchen btw!]

Comments

[gentledawn]

[He lifts his gaze and smiles slowly, his eyes brightening.]

You do. That is why I was comfortable coming to listen to you.

[dragonrising]

[He was comfortable listening to him for this reason? It seems so hard to believe. Then again he's so used to bringing pain that being capable of otherwise feels so new.]

Forgive my surprise. I just... I suppose I hadn't realized. You are so kind and gentle that my greatest concern has been I'll scare you away.

[gentledawn]

I understand pain; I understand making mistakes. I choose to seek the good in others because everyone needs a second or perhaps even a third chance. How can we better ourselves if we are trapped under the weight of our mistakes?

I want you to stand in the light, Runyu. You deserve to be warm and cherished.

[dragonrising]

I want to stand in your light. I found myself fond of you from the moment we met.

With so many cherishing others though, I don't wish to take what they have. There is likely no soulmate out there for me and I have accepted that.

[He shakes his head then.

No. I think it's more that I'm scared of being cherished because I have see the monster I can become when I feel perhaps I'm never enough. So I fear I'll hurt people again if I get too close.

[He's hidden this from everyone here. But Xingchen actually knows his story so he feels he can tell him this. Why he's always hesitating. Why he longs but holds back. He's scared of himself because he already knows what he can become out of a hunger to be loved only to be denied it time and again.]

[gentledawn]

[Hearing those fears brings tears to his eyes and a lump to his throat. Why had Runyu been tested so cruelly? None of it makes sense to him and he finds himself desperate to bridge the gap between what Runyu had experienced and what he deserved to experience.]

You won't hurt anyone.

[He leans across the table, careful not to upend any cups or bowls, and if Runyu doesn't retreat, he will be given a kiss right on his lips. A little reminder that he isn't alone; that his soulmate might still be out there.]

Don't give up.

[dragonrising]

[He doesn't retreat and his eyes widen at the kiss. His fingers lift to his lips, still able to feel them there even though they're gone.]

But you have...

[A soulmate. But he kissed him. He feels...lost.]

[gentledawn]

Since being here, Zichen and I have been with others. We understand our bond, we do not question our love, and, in a way, we share it with those who become dear to us.

[Xingchen flushes darkly. He never expected he would feel this way, but...]

There is no shame in loving. Soulmates are dear, but what's wrong with opening your heart to someone who means a great deal to you?

[dragonrising]

[He feels he never been allowed to know anything like this. No. He knows he hasn't. The only experience he's had with seeing free love it his father hurting so many with his.

But this isn't what Xingchen is showing him. Explaining to him. This is open and with real feelings. Not just desire and lust.

They've opened their hearts to others.]

I mean so much to you?

[gentledawn]

You do. [Xingchen is aware that he can be naive, that there are important things he might - and perhaps does - miss. However he will never apologize for loving another.] Love as you like, go where you like, but know that you have a home here with me, with Zichen if you need it. Then, one day, when you meet your soulmate, we can celebrate together.

[dragonrising]

[With someone he hasn't even met too? A home? And Xingchen caring that deeply about him already?

Unable to stop himself, he lifts a shaky hand to cup Xingchen's face, thumb brushing over his lower lip. As desperate as the action is, it's done with such extreme gentleness too.]

Say it again. Please. I know how selfish it is to ask but I beg you...

[He can't begin to describe how badly he needs to hear that someone cares so deeply about him. That he has a home.]

[gentledawn]

[Tears pool in his eyes and slide down his cheeks. His very soul aches to pull Runyu close, to fend off the nightmares, the misgivings... Oh he understands all of those demons and he doesn't like imagining anyone facing them for eternity!]

I care for you, Runyu. You have a home with me, right in this apartment or anywhere I go. I never leave my heart behind.

[dragonrising]

[The words were real before but they're truly real now. Xingchen cares about him and wants to give him a home no matter where he is.

Soon they're both shedding tears and he lets out a laugh. His other hand comes up to cup the other side of Xingchen's face, gently pushing away tears with his thumbs.]

I told you before that I could fall for you. Look at what you're doing to me.

[Runyu takes a deep breath to steady himself.]

I'd like to meet the one you live with sometime. I don't feel right until I have met him. So he has a say too. Is that alright?

[He's made too many decisions without a care about the feelings of others. But no more. He wants to give this man a chance to know him too.]

[gentledawn]

[He laughs shakily, his cheeks on fire under those gentle hands. Carefully, he moves to Runyu's side of the table and nestles against his side. The thoughtfulness makes him smile broadly and he nods, eager to introduce the pair.]

You will love Song Zichen. I want you two to meet; I feel you would be friends in no time.

[Friends and more, he thinks, and he would love to simply watch them bond.]

Of course it's alright. Would you like for me to be with you when you do meet him?

[dragonrising]

[He thinks about that, considers his own jealousy in the past, considers his own possessive nature...

But how will he grow like Xingchen believes he can if he doesn't try? If he can have them both in the same room perhaps it can teach him to open his heart more. To embrace them both. Or to accept he has no choice but to share.]

Yes. I'd like you there when I meet him and get to know him.

[gentledawn]

[He will find that Xingchen and Zichen are two sides of the same coin. It won't seem like "sharing" so much as enjoying the same soul (or two souls that complement one another really well) in two bodies.]

I will be, then. All you need do is speak your mind. Zichen values the truth.

[dragonrising]

[Runyu takes a deep breath but then nods.]

I will trust you. When do you feel is a good time for me to meet him?

[Since he wants Xingchen there too.]

[gentledawn]

Later this week would be best for me. Would that be suitable? I can have a meal ready and we can relax together.

(It's nice to have another distraction, he thinks, so they don't overthink.)

[dragonrising]

It's perfect.

[He offers him a small smile.]

Please. Just contact me when it's a good time to come. I'll be honored to come be with you both for a meal. And I'll be honest about my feelings with him. Is there anything I should know about him? I'd like to treat him with as much respect as possible.

[gentledawn]

I will send you a note. [Xingchen thinks about the next question, his forehead furrowing.] Zichen is a quiet man. He likely won't say much, so it's important to pay attention to his expressions. He also is...uncomfortable...with contact. Over time, with patience, that can change. But don't take offense if he doesn't sit close.

[dragonrising]

Uncomfortable with contact? Is it alright if I ask why?

[He doesn't plan to be offended but he wonders if he can do something to help him feel more comfortable if they end up near each other.]

[gentledawn]

I believe something occurred to him in his childhood. [Something that Xingchen wishes he could go back in time and prevent with all his might.] Humans do not treat children with the care and love they should sometimes.

[dragonrising]

[Humans weren't the only ones. Runyu knows that better than almost anyone. But they don't need to bring that up again. Instead, he nods.]

I will offer a respectful distance and cleanse myself before having contact with him. Hopefully that will help him should we end up having contact with each other.

[gentledawn]

[It angers him that anyone, immortal or mortal, could see a child and do nothing but try to ruin them. Part of the sect he wants to start with Zichen will include an orphanage. Then those babies will be safe, fed and loved.]

Thank you. [He kisses Runyu's cheek.] He has been through...much. When we arrived, his heart didn't beat and he lacked his tongue.

[dragonrising]

[That makes him tilt his head and frown.]

It sounds like both of you have been through so much honestly...

[gentledawn]

It helps us understand others better. [He smiles softly, a bit sadly.]