un: nolongerhuman

[thesettingsun]

Quick survey: do you know anyone from home here, or are you the only one who got brought from your world?

And is it weird to people from modern Japan to see Valentine's Day not being advertised in February? It was only really brought over after my death, but the last few years I've been around for it, you can't miss all the sales and promotions.

Comments

[thesettingsun]

Nope. I'd be thrilled to work for you, then I wouldn't have to worry about covering publishing costs.

[darkdisgrace]

You'd have do to way more than write to work in mafia business.

Wait, how the hell did you support your family then? Weren't you married with kids?

[thesettingsun]

Higuchi still won't tell me if getting railed by mafiosos is a real job I can have.

I did eventually get enough of a following to not have to worry. Before that, my family paid me a stipend on the condition that I never associate with them or return home.

[darkdisgrace]

What, you want to be a mafia sugar baby or something? Call boy?

[A pause, before--]

Shit, I never even had parents and that sounds awful.

[thesettingsun]

I'd be great at that job!

[No filter whatsoever.]

Honestly, it wasn't that bad. I was never that close to any of my relatives anyway, having an excuse not to see them was probably good for me.

[darkdisgrace]

You have no shame whatsoever, do you?

[At least one thing the Dazais have in common.]

Isn't family supposed to be close and shit, though? I don't think it's particularly common for your family to pay you not to associate with them.

[But... if Dazai wasn't going to make a big deal out of it, neither should Chuuya.]

Whatever. Once you find people you like enough to stick around, that's enough, right?

[thesettingsun]

Not about that, at least.

[He has a life full of shame, but he's always a talk first and regret later type.]

I've heard that, but I've never experienced it myself. People you surround yourself by choice are way more important than blood relatives.

[darkdisgrace]

That just makes me curious about what else you might not be ashamed of.

[But no, this is a serious conversation.]

I agree there. I've never had blood relatives, but I've never needed them. Not really. The Port Mafia is where I belong.

[thesettingsun]

♥ Later.

Glad to hear it. Don't let the other Chuuya know I said all this if he ever shows up. He's pretty touchy about his kids and he'd shoot me in the face again.

[darkdisgrace]

I'll hold you to that.

[He's silent for a long moment at the mention of the other Chuuya. It's still... weird to hear, honestly, that there's possibly some alternate 'Chuuya Nakahara' out there with... a normal life??

Sounds fake. Sounds alien, really.]

He's touchy about his kids? What, he one of those protective dad types? You haven't talked about him much.

tw: child death mention

[thesettingsun]

There's a lot to say about Chuuya. He's a genius poet, probably the best one I know. His poems are incredibly powerful.

The ones mourning his son's death especially.

[Sometimes, there are things even a protective dad can't stop.]

[darkdisgrace]

[...Ah.

Now he feels kind of crass, viewing the man's life (and apparent loss) like that.]

Shit, that's heavy. I couldn't even imagine having kids, let alone losing one.

[He understood mourning, understood anger at losing people you care about. He'd lost plenty of friends and subordinates over the years... but a kid? Not just a kid, but a child of his own?]

He really wrote about his kid's death?

[thesettingsun]

People say Spring will come again
But I don't feel any relief
So what does that change—Spring coming?
That child ain't coming back either way

As I recall, it was just this May
I was holding you at the zoo
You meowed to the elephants
And even to the birds

Only when finally shown the deer
Were you captured, or so it seemed
You stared without a word

You were truly standing
In the light of this world then
Simply staring away...

[darkdisgrace]

[...Ah.

It's not elaborately worded at all, yet from the point of view it's written from, it's...

Love and helplessness. Mourning someone precious you'll never get back. Those emotions are universal.]

You're right. It is powerful.

[What else can he possibly say to that? It's both completely foreign and relatable, in a way.]

[thesettingsun]

Like I said, best poet I know.

[Dazai doesn't have anything to say about the subject matter itself. It feels like it's not his place to talk about, even though it's well known.]

[darkdisgrace]

We're pretty different in that respect. I don't think I've ever written anything in my life.

[Fighting? He was great at it. Writing poems, novels? He's never really tried.]

Can you tell me about some of his other poems?

[thesettingsun]

Tainted sorrow:
today too snow falls on it;
tainted sorrow:
today too wind blows on it.

Tainted sorrow
is like, say, a fox's fur;
tainted sorrow,
covered with snow, curls up.

Tainted sorrow
has no desires or wishes;
tainted sorrow
in its torpor dreams of death.

Tainted sorrow
frightens me piteously;
tainted sorrow
can't be remedied, and the sun sets...

[darkdisgrace]

[Chuuya nearly drops his device at the words on the screen.

tainted sorrow.

He'd thought it was just the names they had in common, but this...

There was no way.]

What the hell are you pulling here? He really wrote that?

That's impossible.

[His ability isn't even natural.]

[thesettingsun]

I'm guessing that's the poem your ability shares a name with? I heard a little about that. "No Longer Human" is my last and best novel, it's strange hearing that it's a superpower somewhere else.

[Surely it's the same between the Dazais and the Chuuyas.]

[darkdisgrace]

Yeah, that's Dazai's ability in our world. He can nullify any ability with a touch. It's a pain in the ass, but it's useful.

But mine having that in common with your Chuuya is a can of worms I don't even want to think about the implications of.

[Shit though, now he has to ask...]

Don't ask questions, just answer me this: Do the words Corruption or 'O grantors of Dark Disgrace, do not wake me again' mean anything to you?

[thesettingsun]

Corruption no, but that second one is a line from a different poem.

I can bring over some booze if you need some.

[Dealing with these revelations is a lot, he understands.]

[darkdisgrace]

You've got to be shitting me.

[That didn't make sense. What did that mean, about their similarities between worlds?

Dazai's offer is immensely appreciated right now.]

Grab something strong, then.

[That's a yes.]

[thesettingsun]

Be there in 15.

[As promised, in about 15 minutes Dazai is at Chuuya's door, holding a bottle of the hardiest vodka he could find on short notice.

Knock knock, sorry about the brainbreak.]

[darkdisgrace]

[Chuuya will open the door, reach out, and immediately grab the bottle of Vodka.

...Yeah, it's that kind of day.]

Come on in, I'm not destroying my liver alone.

[It is very much that kind of day. He's twisting the cap off and taking a swig straight from the bottle.]

[thesettingsun]

[Rude, but it's Chuuya so he can't be surprised. He steps inside.]

If I'd known it would be that weird I wouldn't have brought him up.