un: matsukaze | video | dated Sept 29th

[leafwhistle]

[The video opens up to the sepia image of a pale young man with even paler hair sitting under what at a first glance might seem like an umbrella. The camera turns slightly and captures the image of a dark haired, beautiful man sitting close against him with his hands tightly gripped Kazuha's sleeve, and it becomes apparent that it's actually a hat.

It's raining, just slightly, enough to muddy the ground they're sitting on. It's a bit too late for them anyway— their clothes and parts of their skin are smeared with dirt and mud. Anyone a little more perceptive might notice some smears and stains are a bit darker and stickier looking than the shiny mud. That would be blood.

Kazuha's face has a calm smile, despite the fact he seems to look slightly ill. His companion probably has the most intense sulk ever caught on camera.]

I'm looking for recommendations or assistance with, ah... [His cheeks flush with embarrassment.] I've swallowed something and need it removed, hopefully without cutting into me. We've tried a few things, but unfortunately, I've not really been able to force a gag reflex.

[The young man next to him decides to add in his own comment—]

Preferably in under 24 hours... Moron here might not live long after that.

Comments

un: owen

[sicklysweet]

If you’re going to die anyways, you might as well just rip your stomach apart and feel around for it.

[That’s… Helpful…]

It’ll be quick, and after a while you won’t feel anything but oblivion.

un: tartaglia

[acutabove]

[ god he's got such fomo right now you don't even know ]

Your first mistake was hanging out with that rat bastard

How long have you and Scared Moose known each other??? Did he make you swallow a knife or something???

UN: Zhongli, voice

[negeotiation]

[Oh... that sounds incredibly concerning.

He actually sounds it too, just slightly. Kazuha was a pleasant young man.]

Was what you ate toxic? If so, a possibility is grinding up charcoal, it will absorb what you've eaten if it is not entirely solid. There are also medicines that can induce regurgitation, but you must be quick before your body absorbs too much from whatever you've eaten. Whatever happened?

un: ultra_deduction

[sweetsleuth]

What are you, a toddler?

Go to the hospital, obviously. That would have been the first result if you googled it.

un: noah

[teasing]

Samurai Boy?

What do you need removed? I might be able to help.

[ is he actually being helpful and serious for once? who knows ]

un: theballadeer | video

[lyingstars]

Fuck you Tartaglia! I have a name, use it!

And I didn't make the moron swallow anything! He's just incompetent.

un: dreamily

[somnophilic]

Dear me, aren't you a magnet for trouble... Well, if it comes down to it, your lack of gag reflex doesn't matter if your mind thinks you're going to. It wouldn't be pleasant for either of us though, as forcing the body to obey the subconscious is taxing.

[he sounds no less unreadably neutral than ever, really. on the upside? his expression is a little more worried than not, so he's likely at least... somewhat concerned.]

That said, I do recommend you go to the hospital. Even if they don't have modern machinery to do the work, they'll likely be the most qualified to induce vomiting.

un: gogol

[quizpersona]

Do you like magic tricks? Because I could remove it easily-- and more if you wanted to lose a few pounds. Just don't ask any questions, okay~?

video

[acutabove]

I did use your name, didn't you hear me earlier? I know you're getting up there in age, but come on.

And you can't blame me for not believing you. I've heard of what you do to your recruits.

[lyingstars]

That is not my name! And you don't even know my age!

[Don't mind him, just fuming into Eternity™.]

Oh? Enlighten me, what is it I do to my recruits?

video

[acutabove]

[ as you do, Scara, as you do ]

Are you going to make me say it out loud? Really? You know Kazuha's right there. I wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of the only friend you have.

What did he end up swallowing, anyway?

[lyingstars]

There is nothing you could say that would embarrass me... And we are not friends!

He swallowed something that's not his, and I want it back.

[acutabove]

I'm sure I could think of a few things.

[ give him a sec he's sending something -

and then there's that infamous crying pic of Mou, taken so many weeks ago. ]

So you did make him swallow a knife.

un: theballadeer

[lyingstars]

Your hand inside him sounds as though it would cause more problems than solve.

[lyingstars]

[He squints at the screen. Why does Tartaglia still have that picture.]

What's that supposed to prove?

It wasn't a knife! I've never made anyone swallow a knife!

[acutabove]

[ the squinting really does make him look like a short, angry little man

also why wouldn't he it was a perfect Kodak moment ]

What you and your friends get up to is normally none of my business, but when it involves one of my friends I can't help but be a little concerned. Why Kazuha's even spending time around someone as slimy as you is mind-boggling, especially if you're making him swallow random shit.

What was it? A bone? A rock?

un: theballadeer

[lyingstars]

It might be toxic... But charcoal definitely isn't going to solve this.

[lyingstars]

Learn to share Tartaglia, I can involve myself with whomever I chose... How many times do I have to say I didn't make him swallow anything!

[Huffs.]

It's none of your business.

[acutabove]

I -

are you implying I'm trying to hog you? Maybe you're the one that swallowed something???

I... didn't think you felt that way about me, Scara.

Do we need to have a talk? Maybe walk on the beach holding hands?

[lyingstars]

That isn't event remotely what I was implying! Besides aren't you the one with the picture of me.

Careful Tartaglia, you might be projecting.

[acutabove]

If you missed me that much, you know, you could always just start crying into the wind. I might not be able to hear you but it'll be funny.

[ nevermind the fact that Kazuha is probably like. dying or something behind him. ]

But seriously, what did you feed him?

[lyingstars]

Aww, would that make you feel better?

[Honestly if Kazuha dies at least he can still get his stuff back. No loss here.]

Something a human really shouldn't have in their stomach.

[acutabove]

If I said yes, would that make you do it? Since you seem to miss me so much, and all.

[ okay but he'd prefer not to have his friend die??? ]

... that can mean a lot of things. Like knives. I feel like I don't really believe you when you said you didn't make him swallow a knife.

[lyingstars]

Since you aren't here, you'll never know.

[Not his problem man.]

Why are you so obsessed with knives? Though he would be luckier if it were one.

[acutabove]

A shame, that. You'll just have to send me a video, won't you?

[ that's slightly more concerning than before hello ]

I'm not, that's just the first thing I could think of since I imagine you'd be the first to stab me in the back if it ever came down to it.

What did he swallow?