un: matsukaze | video | dated Sept 29th

[leafwhistle]

[The video opens up to the sepia image of a pale young man with even paler hair sitting under what at a first glance might seem like an umbrella. The camera turns slightly and captures the image of a dark haired, beautiful man sitting close against him with his hands tightly gripped Kazuha's sleeve, and it becomes apparent that it's actually a hat.

It's raining, just slightly, enough to muddy the ground they're sitting on. It's a bit too late for them anyway— their clothes and parts of their skin are smeared with dirt and mud. Anyone a little more perceptive might notice some smears and stains are a bit darker and stickier looking than the shiny mud. That would be blood.

Kazuha's face has a calm smile, despite the fact he seems to look slightly ill. His companion probably has the most intense sulk ever caught on camera.]

I'm looking for recommendations or assistance with, ah... [His cheeks flush with embarrassment.] I've swallowed something and need it removed, hopefully without cutting into me. We've tried a few things, but unfortunately, I've not really been able to force a gag reflex.

[The young man next to him decides to add in his own comment—]

Preferably in under 24 hours... Moron here might not live long after that.

Comments

un: owen

[sicklysweet]

If you’re going to die anyways, you might as well just rip your stomach apart and feel around for it.

[That’s… Helpful…]

It’ll be quick, and after a while you won’t feel anything but oblivion.

[leafwhistle]

[Ah… not promising if this is the first response. Kazuha seems to take it in stride though, just offering a smile.]

Preferably I’d like to avoid dying. I’m not certain if cutting into my stomach while conscious would be considered ‘quick’ anyway.

un: tartaglia

[acutabove]

[ god he's got such fomo right now you don't even know ]

Your first mistake was hanging out with that rat bastard

How long have you and Scared Moose known each other??? Did he make you swallow a knife or something???

un: theballadeer | video

[lyingstars]

Fuck you Tartaglia! I have a name, use it!

And I didn't make the moron swallow anything! He's just incompetent.

[leafwhistle]

[sry Childe he picked up a new harbinger.]

We met when I arrived in Tokyo… [He looks over at the said Scared Moose.] A few times actually.

This is embarrassing… Some sort of chess piece.

UN: Zhongli, voice

[negeotiation]

[Oh... that sounds incredibly concerning.

He actually sounds it too, just slightly. Kazuha was a pleasant young man.]

Was what you ate toxic? If so, a possibility is grinding up charcoal, it will absorb what you've eaten if it is not entirely solid. There are also medicines that can induce regurgitation, but you must be quick before your body absorbs too much from whatever you've eaten. Whatever happened?

un: theballadeer

[lyingstars]

It might be toxic... But charcoal definitely isn't going to solve this.

[leafwhistle]

Thank you. [He does recognize the voice as the man he met in the Western Paradise.]

I don’t believe charcoal will help though… I’ve used such a remedy before, though what I’ve swallowed is an object. Do you have a suggestion on medications?

[He lifts a hand and rubs a bit of mud and blood that’s making his cheek itch. He sighs softly.]

We had a disagreement. In any case, I’ve learned the hard way that the mouth is not a good keeping spot for something in a scuffle when you don’t gag.

un: ultra_deduction

[sweetsleuth]

What are you, a toddler?

Go to the hospital, obviously. That would have been the first result if you googled it.

[leafwhistle]

It’s a bit of a long story.

[A Series of Unfortunate Events.]

I thought about a hospital but he won’t let me go, so home remedies are my options.

un: noah

[teasing]

Samurai Boy?

What do you need removed? I might be able to help.

[ is he actually being helpful and serious for once? who knows ]

[leafwhistle]

It’s a chess piece.

[He was going to say more, but he pauses, holding his chest. For a moment, he looks a little more pale, and then he burps sparks out his mouth.]

And sometimes that happens.

un: dreamily

[somnophilic]

Dear me, aren't you a magnet for trouble... Well, if it comes down to it, your lack of gag reflex doesn't matter if your mind thinks you're going to. It wouldn't be pleasant for either of us though, as forcing the body to obey the subconscious is taxing.

[he sounds no less unreadably neutral than ever, really. on the upside? his expression is a little more worried than not, so he's likely at least... somewhat concerned.]

That said, I do recommend you go to the hospital. Even if they don't have modern machinery to do the work, they'll likely be the most qualified to induce vomiting.

[leafwhistle]

Am I? I suppose I am, now… I had just wanted an easy, aimless, carefree life…

[And then being a bi disaster changed that. In any case, Zakri is offering an interesting option.]

If I’m asleep, isn’t there a threat of aspirating? I’m afraid I can’t go to a hospital.

un: gogol

[quizpersona]

Do you like magic tricks? Because I could remove it easily-- and more if you wanted to lose a few pounds. Just don't ask any questions, okay~?

un: theballadeer

[lyingstars]

Your hand inside him sounds as though it would cause more problems than solve.

[leafwhistle]

That’s not suspicious at all.

[Still managing a little sass. In any case, he’s not sure he can trust this offer of help.]

Preferably I’d like to keep all my organs.

anonymous

[hierophany]

Depending on your personal aversion to tentacles entering your body I could probably remove it.

[leafwhistle]

[tentacles?? In his body?? Apparently more likely to happen than he thought.]

[He thinks he might have seen some erotic art like that once.]

[The uncertainty is a bit clear on his face.]

I assume through my mouth?

text; un: manslayer

[hitokiri]

that a threat? cuz if he dies u can be next

[ in his defence, there’s blood. this is a perfectly reasonable reaction to have… ]

un: theballadeer

[lyingstars]

I'm not interested in more fights. This is his fault, if he wasn't so incompetent his life wouldn't be in danger.

[leafwhistle]

[that’s an obvious username. Thx Izō.]

[He’ll answer the question without answering it verbally by shifting the video to essentially flash the fact he has his sword pressed to Scaramouche’s stomach, a warning to keep him at bay.]

I’d hope at least you’d come and find my sword and visions should that happen, but I’m hoping to make an escape alive still.

[And maybe run off with whatever he swallowed? Seemed important. All the better to run off with it.]

audio; un: g

[sixtyeighth]

Just cut into him after he dies. He can pay to be revived later for being an idiot.

Sounds fair to me.

un: theballadeer

[lyingstars]

If he drops dead that is the plan... But I'm not planning on being the one to kill him.

[For now. If it takes too long then maybe a light stabbing.]

video; un: 1_E91

[cupiditasmedendi]

I can help. Without needing to harm you in any way.

[The young man on the other end of the line sounds, and looks, very sure of that. He likes to help. He's just Like That.]

It shouldn't be any problem at all.

[leafwhistle]

[Finally someone who doesn’t want to hurt or kill him or other unpleasantness.]

If you don’t mind me asking, what would I expect?

action

[formyeternity]

[ After a time, it was indeed Ei who came walking up to them and not entirely looking too pleased. Mostly since someone in particular had not been sharing ALL the details here and as such, she's here to provide 'help' and had been directed to this location rather helpfully. ]

...So what exactly is going on here?

[ She put a hand on her hip once she was a couple feet away from the two of them. Answers would be a good thing to have, honestly. ]

[lyingstars]

[Ei's appearance is met with an innocent smile from Scaramouche - which looks decidedly less innocent with all the mud and blood smeared on him. He'd get up to greet her properly, but he's not exactly allowed to, so instead he opts for crossing his arms.]

I told you I'm handling it. Do the details truly matter?

[This close together they definitely bear similarities, if somehow at this point Kazuha had any doubts they were related somehow.]