Dohalim Melqal il Qaras Na'amo (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ilqaras) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
jikan_network2021-11-01 03:08 am
ilqaras) wrote in jikan_network2021-11-01 03:08 am
Entry tags:
- bungo stray dogs: ranpo edogawa,
- d.gray-man: allen walker,
- dogs: giovanni rammsteiner,
- dogs: heine rammsteiner,
- food fantasy: bloody mary,
- food fantasy: red wine,
- genshin impact: kaedehara kazuha,
- genshin impact: kaeya alberich,
- genshin impact: venti,
- genshin impact: zhongli,
- original: calanthe,
- original: korollan,
- original: prim "purin" proper,
- tales of arise: dohalim il quaras
video; un: ilqaras
[there's a bit of fumbling about with the camera, fingers come into view before everything is righted, and Dohalim comes into view. he's... looking a little rough, dark circles under his eyes as he props an arm up to rest his forehead in between his thumb and forefinger. there's a slight ting of red that manages to peek through his bronzed skin, as he takes a small bite of a sliced piece of fruit; someone went foraging for wine fruit, it seems.
the silence goes on for a moment more; one would think this could be a mukbang, before Dohalim finally sighs out softly, and speaks]
First of all... I would like to apologise to those I've encountered in the last several weeks. My actions were out of line.
[his speech is slurred; he looks off to the side]
Second of all... Would anyone know how to get blood out of white linens?
[another soft sigh, before Dohalim reaches towards the camera, and the screen goes black. he was meant to draft this, but... oops he posted it instead. help a guy out, he really doesn't want to have to burn his regalia]
the silence goes on for a moment more; one would think this could be a mukbang, before Dohalim finally sighs out softly, and speaks]
First of all... I would like to apologise to those I've encountered in the last several weeks. My actions were out of line.
[his speech is slurred; he looks off to the side]
Second of all... Would anyone know how to get blood out of white linens?
[another soft sigh, before Dohalim reaches towards the camera, and the screen goes black. he was meant to draft this, but... oops he posted it instead. help a guy out, he really doesn't want to have to burn his regalia]
no subject
That the man tried to help so fervently only spoke to his character. The tiredness in Dohalim's voice only encouraged Zhongli more.]
...I've made some sobering tea for you. It should help clear your mind, or at the very least ease any hangover pain and nausea you might have. If you like, I also know of several kinds that can help ease the mind.
[Alcohol is a band aid, but it only made people feel worse later when used to try and forget. Zhongli Knew.]
no subject
Forgive me for saying that I doubt you have much to ease the tumult within my mind.
[a pause, before:]
You need not concern yourself over me. Not after what I've done.
no subject
[It's an agreement, soft and understanding.] But even the weight of a boulder can be worn down by wind, rain and time.
[Little by little, bit by bit. The marks left on them might last forever, but the freshness of it can lessen, with time and comfort.]
...'What you've done' is what a great many people did, last month. I myself am not without guilt in that regard, and he has no regrets, nor do I think he would have done anything differently.
Rather, it is because of you that he is still alive.
no subject
Yes, but he would not have been in such a position if I had only--
[the words come out rushed, only to stop abruptly as Dohalim gathers himself again. he really is losing his handle on dealing with this situation on his own...
maybe tea may not be such a bad idea]
--Apologies. Perhaps... A spot of tea. And a much needed talk.
no subject
Zhongli knew that look. When you've lived 6000 years, it was hard to find places in the world that didn't remind you of the past.]
Thank you, I would very much like that. Would you send me your address?
no subject
I hope this is not too far for you to travel.
no subject
[He also resides in one of the dorms in the west, so he really isn't going that far out of his way if it's any comfort to Dohalim.
It will still take him some time to get there, but when he does arrive it's with a polite knock at the door and a small bag in hand.]
no subject
or curled up with Allen who knows at this point, but he's upright. cracking the door a peek he sees Zhongli and nods, pushing the door open wide enough to let him in]Good evening.
[he waits for the man to cross the threshold before shutting the door behind them, and leads him to the low table. the warming unit should be on still, if Zhongli is so inclined to take up comfort under its heat like Dohalim is doing.
he doesn't say much, or anything at all, for that matter, and when they're both seated down, he doesn't even look up at him. perhaps, out of shame? it seems to be the case]
no subject
Good evening.
[He follows Dohalim in, settling at the low table with a quiet, pleased noise at the heating. Kotatsu reminded him of a small, portable kang, but one perfect for structures constructed without such complex sublevels.] Thank you for your hospitality.
[He nods his head as he opens the cloth bag, and what is inside is... a thermos, tins of tea, and even some finely made stoneware tea cups.] Normally I would brew tea where it is served, but I did not want to presume that I would be welcome to do so. I hope the quality has been maintained.
no subject
as Zhongli sets out the teas and teaware, he can't help but appreciate it. the man really did like his tea...]
I am sure it will be okay.
[not once does he look up at Zhongli; he just can't. there's too much shame, too much emotion still roaring within him]
...How is Childe?
[a courtesy to ask. he needs to know. Zhongli had already said he's still alive, but... there's varying degrees of that]
no subject
...To be perfectly honest, my biggest concern is making sure he doesn't go looking for trouble until he is fully healed.
[He slides a cup towards Dohalim, smile wry.]
no subject
That is good to hear.
[his thumb tap gently on the rim of the cup, looking down at the steaming liquid. he's silent for several moments, unmoving, trying to figure out what to say, and how to say it. but he does finally look up after a period of time, utter remorse on his face]
Please accept my formal apology. I lost control of myself and it nearly cost Childe's life, and caused you pain.
no subject
There is nothing to apologize for. You healed much of the damage you caused, and in any case, I know Childe well enough to know he likely sought out the fight, perhaps even pushed it further than you might have otherwise gone. He is insatiable when it comes to seeking out the thrill of battle... it is his chosen passion and path in life.
[There's a hint of fondness in his tone, even if it's tinged with a bitter edge of worry. But they were not here to go over apologies again, he hopes.] In truth, I was irrational at the time myself. Even after six thousand years... there are some things I yet struggle with, when it comes to those I care for.
[He thinks, perhaps, that Dohalim might have similar reasons for his reaction. It is only a guess, however, and a doorway is left open.]
no subject
[and here Dohalim was, thinking that twenty eight was old enough. he couldn't imagine living as old as six thousand years.
sure, there were other factors that went into it, whatever force in Nippon that had drove the three of them to act the way that they did, but it's still something Dohalim can't forgive himself for. it had dredged up so many unwanted emotions and memories, opened up old wounds, leaving him to think that he deserved this, deserved to remember the pain he'd caused.
suddenly aware of the slight tremble in his hand as he looks at the rippling tea in his cup, Dohalim sighs, and puts it down, before folding his hands together; his bronzed skin disguising what would be white knuckles from gripping his hands tightly]
I... Still should have kept it together. It was unacceptable behaviour on my part.
rip me for forgetting do didn't know
No, of course Childe wouldn't have. And if he himself hadn't, then...] My apologies... I thought you were aware of my nature.
[He fingers his teacup lightly, brushing his thumb against the smooth sides. It was as if Dohalim was so focused on refusing forgiveness that he had yet to ask himself why it was given.]
Memory is a powerful thing. At it's kindest, it is a comfort and reminder of better days. But at it's harshest it can feel as if you are drowning, dragged into a current you have no escape from.
[There's a weight there in his words, of someone who had lived them for far too long.] Forgive me for assuming.... but from what I saw, I gauged that your reaction at the time was not entirely rooted in the present. There was no ill will on your part.
rip for do sleeping with a 6000 year old god tbh
looking down at his hands, Dohalim fidgets with his fingers for a moment or two, before folding them back together. the unfortunate truth is that Zhongli is right; memory truly is a powerful thing. he had memories of his past, good ones he'd desperately clung to in times where he needed that comfort, but what followed them were the dark ones that quickly took over, reminding him of his transgressions, and those he'd hurt, and the hatred he'd gained.
it's all he can remember, and it still throws him for a loop when people like Kisara, and now Zhongli tell him words of forgiveness. at least, with Rinwell, he can live with the hatred over being a Renan lord. it's what he's used to]
I was... Reminded of something I've worked hard to compartmentalise and forget. Recent events back home paired with what happened with Childe forced me to remember-- No, not just remember it, but hear it.
[he isn't sure why he's being as honest with the man as he is right now, but maybe it's because he feels he owes some sort of explanation to him]
no subject
Memory is a strange thing. The more painful the scar it leaves, the harder it is to forget... and conversely, the more pain you suffer when something reminds you of it. An event, a scent, a sound... [The smell of glaze lilies, nostalgic and bittersweet, the glint of dust in sunlight. In his darkest moments, he still swore the scent of blood lingered.] Such moments can pull you back, make the pain feel as fresh as it was in the moment it happened.
[He lets out a sigh before looking up, offering Dohalim a quiet look: something wistful but sad.] I've found that the more one tries to ignore such memories, the more painful they become. Memories are much like stone, in such a way. Broken edges can be sharp enough to carve the deepest wounds... but time and touch can smooth them like river waters.
no subject
[Dohalim doens't mean for his words to come out harshly, but perhaps it's because of the fact that he's sobered up for the most part and isn't in any better a mood than when he started eating the wine fruit, or the fact that because he's sobered up, he's now feeling fatigued. either way, as soon as the words leaves his mouth, he gives Zhongli an apologetic glance, before picking up his tea again]
...Forgive me. I have no right to demand an answer from you when it's not your responsibility to provide one.
[Zhongli had already done more than enough to come by with tea, which Dohalim is grateful for. it simply wouldn't be fair to expect any more than that]
I must take it upon myself to... Deal with this on my own.