jikan_network | text | un: matsukaze

[That's not a no. Kazuha sighs, his lashes fluttering as he looks down where he's holding Scaramouche's hand. Remain relaxed. Don't jump to judgements.]

What were you doing that made him 'get in your way'?

Is there a specific time you're asking about or just in general?

[He clearly needs to have a chat with the Traveler.]

I'm a Harbinger, Kazuha. I have orders to follow. And as you said, he tends to play the hero.

[It's good he thought to hold his hand first. He might be tempted to reach for his sword out of impulse otherwise. His heart is beating a little faster.]

What were you doing in Inazuma?

[He sighs, shaking his head. There's no point in being vague with Kazuha.]

What I was ordered to - overseeing the Delusion factory. At least until I found something more interesting.

[Kazuha's eyes flicker around, and for a moment he can't think of much. This is the sort of thing he was afraid of. He looks away from Scaramouche, his mouth set in a serious line.]

You were giving people Delusions and Aether came to stop you, didn't he?

[The few times he's been able to clearly read Kazuha he hasn't liked it, and this time is no different, a frown forming on his face. Some lunch this was turning out to be.]

I wasn't. It was hardly my plan. The Traveler tried, but were it not for the shrine maiden he would have lost long before he could do anything.

[This sounds considerably damning for Scaramouche even still. He looks up, though he isn't able to hold his eyes for long.]

You need to explain to me everything.

[He sets his fork down, moving his hand to gently rest atop both of Kazuha's. If holding one of his hands was what the samurai wanted then certain having both would help this, right?]

Another Harbinger was in charge of everything in Inazuma - the Delusions, the Vision Hunt Decree... getting the Gnosis. Making a market for the Fatui to exploit. I arrived later, ordered to oversee production, nothing more.

Somehow the Traveler found our factory, though he was exceptionally easy to take down. It was rather disappointing, he seemed much weaker than the fist time we met. But none of that matters. I traded his life for the Gnosis, which aligns far more with my interests than any orders anyone could give me.

[It's good that Scaramouche added his hand on top of his; it makes it less tempting to pull his hands away. He has to sit and listen, reason and consider what Scaramouche is telling him.

His eyes flick back down, his lips still set in that frown as he breathes out a sigh.]

Diluc Ragnvindr might kill you if he finds out you were anywhere near Delusions.

[Someone else Kazuha is closely associated with. This is the first time he's mentioned him around Scaramouche, but if he was paying attention to him at the gala, then he would have likely seen him with him.

Honestly, he's not sure it would be right to try and stop him. It's a terrible feeling realizing that someone you've grown close to has done things like this.]

Do you promise me this is the truth? That you weren't involved with the Decree?

Ragnvindr... so that's who he is.

[The name is familiar enough that he recognizes it as more than just one often mentioned in Mondstadt, though where he's heard it specifically he can't recall. Something to think on later as he merely shrugs, unconcerned with the potential threat.]

He's welcome to try. Though I suppose I could just take him down first.

[Maybe he ought to scheme the man's downfall in his free time, even if Kazuha seemed to be close with him.]

Do you really think I would lie to you Kazuha? All I did was follow orders.

[Scaramouche why do you make it so hard to ~~love you~~ be your friend?

Kazuha realizes his mistake immediately, though the immortal should have no problem discerning his expression right now, since he’s fixed a glare on him.]

He’s important to me. I wouldn’t forgive you.

[He mentioned it to warn him. Kazuha has his own complicated feelings to sort out; he has a tight, heavy feeling in his chest that won’t go away. He sighs again, his stomach in knots, and he looks away. Their hands are entwined, but his expression is pained.]

This is difficult for me. These things you've done...

So he can try and kill me, but if I do the same it's a problem?

[He meets Kazuha's glare, irritation clear on his face. It's clear the samurai doesn't approve of what he's done and doesn't want him scheming the demise of anyone. He can't change what he's done in the past, nor does he know if he would if given the option.

He rubs his thumb against Kazuha's hand, more out of his own stress than trying to make the samurai feel any better.]

You knew I was a Harbinger. If it was going to be an issue why bother trying to be my friend?

I don't want either of you to kill each other. Is that so hard to understand?

[He falls quiet as Scaramouche fixes a glare back on him, lost in his thoughts about what he should do or say. He knew and at first it caused him to hold himself at a distance, but things... changed.

His face flushes, the emotional stress making his pulse quicken and his blood pressure raise.]

It was an issue at first, wasn't it? When I swallowed your Gnosis just to take it away from you. It changed when I got to know you.

And if he tries?

[If the man was so important then would Kazuha truly care if he did? It wasn't as though he were a Harbinger, nothing to find disagreeable about him in comparison.

He turns his gaze away, the thought of simply leaving crossing his mind.]

But it's a problem again. You spent so much time getting to know me while ignoring what I am, even though it clearly bothers you.

I would protect you.

[That as much he's certain now, even if he reasons that the immortal might deserve it. He wasn't sure earlier in the conversation, but he knows in his gut that impulse would have him fending off the blow.

Kazuha doesn't want it to come to that. Maybe he should speak with Diluc, get some assurance...

He squeezes Scaramouche's hand in his own, trying to get him to look back. He wants to see his face, maybe search for any sort of remorse.]

You've shown me a different kind of person. I don't think you're evil. Your action in the past are... misguided, but you can grow. My dissatisfaction isn't with you, it's with the circumstances that enabled you.

Always so ready to risk your life. Aren't you supposed to be avoiding being sent to an early grave?

[There's no remorse to be found, though he doesn't turn to face the samurai despite the squeeze. Centuries of life being one way, of being taught of its harshness alone, only to then have those views further ingrained in him by the Fatui make it difficult for him to see what he's done wrong. He hadn't even been responsible for most of the things Kazuha was upset about.]

Evil? The concepts of good and evil are useless, yet life clings to them for the simplicity. I can't change who I am, Kazuha.

I wield my sword to save lives. If I can't save those closest to me, is life worth living?

[His head tilts, flickering over Scaramouche's face, searching desperately. His brows knit, his face still hot from the rush of emotions, his chest aching in a way that send pain down his hands. It's no use— there's no regret to be found on his face, though perhaps only for upsetting him.]

The person you've been around me, was that all a lie?

I don't want you dying for me.

[He's reminded momentarily of the past, of the people he'd grown close to - it was foolish of him to repeat those mistakes again now.

With a deep breath Scaramouche turns to face Kazuha once more, a mixture of emotions playing on his face, though likely none the man is searching for. The conversation is as irritating as it is confusing.]

I have no reason to lie to you about anything. I have been nothing but myself. That doesn't mean I can be who you want me to. Being kind just because "it's the right thing to do."

I would hope to survive. He's not someone who can't be reasoned with. I would protect him all the same.

[Wasn't risking his life just part of being a samurai? He feels like he's trained his life to protect the things he cares for.

The irritation on the other Inazuman's face makes his shoulders sag. He holds his gaze for now, though he dips his head.]

If what you've shown me is real then I don't need to question that at all. You had no reason to be kind to me but you were.

If he hurt you, even unintentionally...

[He shifts his hands, moving to better lace them against Kazuha's. He's not certain what he'd do if the samurai was hurt or killed protecting him, but given his past he can't promise he'd do nothing. Whether Kazuha wanted him to not act against Diluc or not.]

Just because he pretended to show me pity does not mean I'll do the same.

How have I been kind to you?

He won't.

[At least he's confident of that unless he stood in his way of Dottore. He has no intention of that— he'll help Diluc with that, even.

Kazuha's face still feels hot. His eyes flick down to their entwined fingers; it's even harder to want to pull away now, the Harbinger's palm warm against his. He doesn't look back up for a moment.]

So you've met him. I doubt he was pretending. [When? Though that's none of his business, really. Scaramouche is free to interact with whoever he pleases. He looks back up, finally.]

Plenty. You didn't leave me in the mud alone after we fought. You spent time with me at the lake in Nara. You attempted to come to my birthday party, at detriment to your health. You brought me out afterwards and bought me gifts. You've helped with my lessons.

He better hope he doesn’t.

[Scaramouche shakes his head, not believing that his encounter with the man was anything but fake sympathy.]

I have. And I know enough to tell when someone isn’t being honest.

[Kazuha may be difficult to read, but Diluc had been less so. Something about it all didn’t feel genuine. Perhaps it was how he simply showed up out of nowhere, but he has no interest in looking into things if by Kazuha’s own words, the man might try and kill him.]

I wouldn’t call that kind… foolish maybe. I simply enjoy your presence.

[Since he's known him, Kazuha has gotten the feeling that Diluc is far from insincere. He has no need to show the immortal kindness ever, especially knowing he's a Harbinger, and yet Scaramouche says he was faking his kindness. The samurai just shakes his head.]

He has no reason to pretend to be kind to you.

[Scaramouche's answer just makes his stomach twist a little more, conflicted and uncertain how to take such a response. The other man ascertains that he enjoys his presence, yet calls his actions foolish. Kazuha's brow knits slightly.]

What would you consider 'kind' to be then?

text | un: matsukaze

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