[Text; UN: hotturk]

[tightbod_bigrod]

All right guys, here's the deal: we got services to offer and jobs to offer.

We got a wide variety of talents. You need a murder solved? You can count on us. Need to figure out whose stealing your lunches in the staff room? We can do it. Need someone who's stealing your lunches to disappear forever? Well, I'm sure we didn't have anything to do it with, yo.

You need fighters, investigators, taste testers, electrocutioners, whatever, you can call us at a very reasonable price for our expertise.

On the job side of things... If you got a nice cock or boobs or both or whatever and you don't mind doing a little nude modeling for a very tasteful up and coming website, give me a ring.

Comments

[tightbod_bigrod]

I don't know man, considering what Cloud's done. You've gotta step up your game.

People have been from all over time. It's really fucking weird. I think me and Rude are the furthest ahead so far...

But I gather you're at least from, y'know, after some shit went down if you're not with Shinra. You still on the run?

[fairlyheroic]

Totally unfair, I know I can't win if I'm up against him.

But that's what I heard. I've got a few awkward conversations coming up, I think.

Let's just say that I almost made it back.

[tightbod_bigrod]

Almost?

[He's yet to run into someone who was from AFTER they died...]

[fairlyheroic]

Almost. Freedom's pretty pricy, you know. I only had enough on me for Cloud.

[tightbod_bigrod]

Wait, are you saying that you... You're already...?

And you remember it...?

[fairlyheroic]

Yep. You guys are getting soft if the army beat you to us. Think Tseng will let me file a complaint if he shows up?

[tightbod_bigrod]

Damn. Sorry. We tried, man, we seriously tried. Our whole department got real fucked over.

If you wanna leave a letter of grievance I can make sure he gets it when he arrives.

[fairlyheroic]

Don't be. I didn't know you guys were having problems, too, Cissnei never said anything about it when we ran into her.

I think I should file it in person, it might be my only chance to catch him by surprise for once.

[tightbod_bigrod]

Been a while since I've heard that name. Been a while for a lot of people.

"Surprised" may be the understatement of the year. Which is just more reason to do it. I'd like to catch him off guard for once.

[fairlyheroic]

Been a while? Who's still around?

Right? Even if it's only briefly it'll be worth it.

[tightbod_bigrod]

Top secret, but since it's you...

Tseng, me, Rude and Elena. And Rufus is around, but he's sick. We're working on reforming, but we've seen some better days.

Can't even let people know the president's alive without having to worry about someone trying to kill him.

[fairlyheroic]

[four . . . ]

No kidding, geez. I'm sorry.

I really missed a lot if Rufus is president now. The last time I heard anything about him was before I got promoted.

[tightbod_bigrod]

It's the way shit fell. Can't tell you why I'm alive and a bunch of other people aren't.

Damn, Rufus being president is old news now. I can't even begin to summarize it all. Don't know if I even want to. But, I think you'd be glad to hear what we've been up to recently. We've been working on a treatment for that illness, the one Rufus has. It's called "Geostigma"; pretty widespread in the future. And we were gonna mass produce and distribute it for free.

[fairlyheroic]

Yeah. I'll have to bug you for the whole story another time.

You're right, I am glad to hear it. Not that I'm happy some illness is going around, but that you guys are handling it.

[tightbod_bigrod]

It's gonna be a new Shinra. We're working on creating a bit of a better image.

...Some of us are making the adjustment better than others.

[fairlyheroic]

You've got a hell of a job in front of you. Who's having problems adjusting?

[tightbod_bigrod]

Elena. She got a little trigger happy and nearly killed the president's little brother. I had to tell her off for that one.

Some might argue that the boss... uh, he doesn't quite fit in with 'civilians', either.

[fairlyheroic]

Yikes. I didn't know Rufus had a brother.

Hah, I'm not surprised. You'll just have to teach him how.

[tightbod_bigrod]

You can't put an impossible job like that on me. I got enough to deal with. You try teaching him.

Knowing the former pres, he probably has like, twenty of them. First time I saw him I thought, "I bet his mom was a secretary at the company."

And Rufus acts like he doesn't even give a damn. I had to practically make him meet him! Man, if I found out I had a little brother, I'd be the best brother. I'd take him to the park and everything.

You know. If we had any parks left.

You didn't have any brothers, did you? Just parents.

[fairlyheroic]

If he shows here, I'll give it a shot. Otherwise it's kind of up to you or Elena - no offense to Rude.

You know, I wouldn't be surprised. I never met him but that's the kind of impression he gave.

Nope, I was an only child, but I'd do the same thing. Maybe Rufus just needs to warm up to him?

[tightbod_bigrod]

Yeah, I'll keep working on him. Maybe I can get him to go to his birthday party.

So, what're you planning on doing with yourself now?

[fairlyheroic]

Good luck with that.

Honestly? I have no clue. Maybe find some work to do after I settle in? I should probably take some time to relax or something, but I'm pretty bad at it.

[tightbod_bigrod]

You always did have a lot of energy.

You might want to try out a few bars, too.

[fairlyheroic]

That's why I like keeping busy. I have to put all that energy into something.

You think so?

[tightbod_bigrod]

Of course. You got to drop in and visit some old friends, right?

If you want to, I guess.