video; un: crimsononi

[oneandoni]

[hey there Nippon, it's your local oni, broadcasting live from Kyoto - and more importantly, from Uji and the MRU's campus]

Hahahaha! Hey Nippon, did you know today's a super important day? [a dramatic pause, before he laughs again] It's my birthday!

And seeing as it's so important, I gotta go real big with the celebration! Location's a big deal, you know, and I thought real hard about the perfect spot. [he nods a few times] At first I thought it had to be somewhere worthy of an awesome guy like me. Somewhere grand and and worthy and just as awesome as I am! But you know what?

Right here in Uji is the most perfect spot! And spending the day with a bunch of friends and a bunch of oni sounds like the only way to celebrate! Gotta max those good vibes, y'know?

So if you wanna, we're in Uji at the university hanging out all day. And we're gonna cook some delicious food later on, so you definitely don't wanna miss out!

—oh, yeah! It ain't just my birthday, but it's Paimon's, too! Hey chibi, come get some food, I ain't saving any for you!

Comments

[chichichi]

[ Do you see the look on her face? It's that look and she isn't giggling. ]

If you won't show me your dick, you could at least offer me a proper meal.

[ Yes, she said it, and with a head toss and a click of her teeth. ]

Holding out on me like this... I've a mind to have you make it up to me with interest.

[oneandoni]

[oh my god Setsura, the statement leaves him sputtering]

I-I wasn't holding out, it never came up! And uh, ain't that what I'm kind of doing in my video? Even you're allowed to come down, birdie.

[chichichi]

[ Her answer is a rather ominous click. She has essentially hung up on him. ]

[oneandoni]

[oh heck, is he a dead man, should he consider escape routes and/or hiding spots??]

[chichichi]

[ He'll only get so much time to consider. Whatever his choice, wherever he may be, a finger will be tapping his shoulder in fairly short order. ]

[oneandoni]

[he's caught up in a conversation with another oni when she does show up, and the yelp he lets out causes the oni to start laughing. He excuses himself as Itto puts a hand to his chest as his heart pounds]

—geez, don't sneak up on people like that!!

[chichichi]

Who's sneaking? It isn't my fault you weren't paying attention to your surroundings. It's a wonder you've lived [ -- wait a second -- ] how long?

[ She's certain he didn't say. ]

[oneandoni]

Hey hey hey—! I was having a conversation, of course I wasn't paying attention! [excuses, excuses. He huffs] I'm old enough that it'd take a lot more than that to take me down.

[in other words, who knows, canon doesn't specify]

[chichichi]

[ Famous last words, really. Setsura is quick, unnaturally so, to grab Itto's wrist and, in a single fluid motion, she goes to throw him onto his back. ]

[oneandoni]

[he doesn't deserve this abuse! Especially abuse that is the same kind Shinobu deals out!!

Oof.

He wheezes out a protest, and when it isn't clear enough he tries again with a little more success]

O-Oi . . . you didn't have to go and do that.

[chichichi]

Age verification is very important when it comes to birthdays.

[ She says it so seriously as she plants a boot on either side of him and claims a seat atop his chest. ]

I can at least confirm you're not a child and an old man. So where does that leave us, birthday boy?

[oneandoni]

I think you're making that up.

[he grunts as she sits on him, but she isn't heavy so it's mostly because he can't help but be a little shit. He squints up at her before he huffs]

I'm 21. Happy?

[chichichi]

No. It doesn't change the fact that you've been holding out on me.

[oneandoni]

I haven't been holding out on you!! How can I hold out on something if it's never come up?!

[chichichi]

Precisely. Where are your manners?

[oneandoni]

[.......]

I'm a delinquent, I don't got manners. But I'm definitely not in the wrong here for once!

[chichichi]

I'll consider it if you make me something good to eat this week.

[oneandoni]

What's wrong with what I'm cooking here?

[chichichi]

It won't be good later this week.

[oneandoni]

I mean, technically it would be, you could reheat it.

. . . when this week? I'll consider it.

[chichichi]

[ They've entered negotiations. ]

This Saturday, perhaps?

[oneandoni]

[these are very serious food negotiations]

Maybe. Lunch or dinner?

[chichichi]

Lunch is more casual. You wouldn't want your neighbors thinking you had a fancy date, would you?

[oneandoni]

Why would my neighbors think that? [Setsura please, they know better]

But fine, lunch works. If you got any requests you better let me know before then!

[chichichi]

I will.

[ He can count on that. Well, after she gets a look at what he's made today. Speaking of which -- ]

So, what did you cook today?

[ Setsura, maybe let him up so he can show you?? She retains her present seat instead. ]