Video, UN: maglor

[bythewaves]

[ Embarassed elf is working very hard to seem very calm about this ]

To all who may have been accosted by an overly enthusiastic child last month, I apologise, for I knew only love and not fear at that age and was rather supremely spoilt. I hope I did not inconvience anyone overly, and I thank those who were so kind to me in turn.

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[bythewaves]

I don't think Curufin ever said sorry for anything in his life...

[ He makes a face and sighs ]

Fools, all of them.

[holdshisown]

Not to my recollection... [He pauses for a bit.] Unless he had something to gain by it.

[He shakes his head.]

There were entirely too many fools running around back then.

[bythewaves]

True enough. Or our parents made him.

[ Although even they stopped being able to gain such obedience eventually ]

Ourselves not the least. [ He sighs ] But I wish...

[ No point in wishing, he knows. But still... ]

[holdshisown]

That as well. He could be so very stubborn at times.

[Curvo had hated nothing more than being wrong, no matter how small a thing he had been wrong about.]

And me the biggest fool of all. [he let's out a brief humorless laugh.] I should have known better than to hope.

[bythewaves]

Well, that's true of all of us, but it's true Curvo was... rather moreso than most.

[ Maglor wonders now if it would have been kinder to name him something else ]

No, never, I won't hear you call yourself that. You were our leader, Nelyo. Our King without a Crown - who else needed to hold that hope for all of us?

[holdshisown]

That is so, our whole family was as stubborn as a pack of mules at the best of times.

[It would probably have been better if one of their parents didn't give him a name that didn't point out his likeness to their father.]

And yet all I ever led you to was ruin. Maybe if I had been less stubborn I could have found a better way, or been wise enough to see that it was a lost cause.

[bythewaves]

I suppose we came by it honestly, at least.

[ It probably would have helped the daddy complex... ]

You led nowhere I did not choose to follow. I understood, Nelyo, why you could not bear to stop.

[holdshisown]

I don't think anyone could claim otherwise.

[Maybe it would have given him more room to be his own person instead of trying to be their father.]

But I was the oldest, I should have known better.

[bythewaves]

And I was your second, was it not my role to give you the information you needed to make decisions? It is as much my fault as yours.

[holdshisown]

No! It wasn't your fault, Kano. You couldn't have known, but I should have. I had seen it after all, hadn't I? I was his prisoner I should have known better than anyone that we couldn't possibly win against him, but I just couldn't accept it! And how many people died for my arrogance?

[bythewaves]

"How? We all know Morgoth lies, Nelyo. And what choice did you have, when our Oath drove us ever onwards?"

[holdshisown]

"I saw what laid in wait inside of Angband. How could I not have known? I... I don't know. But I should have done something! Something other than what I did do."

[bythewaves]

"You were being tortured." Maglor points out flatly. "That you can remember anything at all about that time is frankly amazing. And Nelyo please, I truly don't think you could have done anything else."

[holdshisown]

"I should have..." Should have been stronger, should have been able to keep track of what was real and what was not. There was a thousand different things that he should have done but hadn't. "It doesn't matter anymore, I suppose. It's already over and done with by now..."

[bythewaves]

"It is." Maglor sighs softly. "There is nothing either of us can do now except move forward."

[holdshisown]

"A frightening enough prospect on it's own when you never thought there would be any moving forward after a certain point in your life." Surviving, even in a place like this, hadn't been something he expected to do and now he didn't quite know what to do with himself.

[bythewaves]

"I know. But I'm here for you Nelyo. This time, I'll help look after you."

[holdshisown]

"I know, and I'm grateful to have you here with me." He just doesn't really know what to do with himself. "I'll try to do a better job looking after you as well."

[bythewaves]

"As am I - I missed you so. I don't want you to wear yourself out, Nelyo."

[holdshisown]

"I'll try. I don't want to make a habit out of worrying you all the time."

[bythewaves]

"I love you, Nelyo, that's why I worry."

[holdshisown]

"I know." But he doesn't have to like that he is giving his brother so many reasons to worry for him.

[bythewaves]

"Can I... come find you, Nelyo?" He thinks, probably, that it would be better if they're side by side, right now. Possible its unhealtily co-dependent of them, but Maglor doesn't really care.

[holdshisown]

"You can always come to me when you wish to, Kano." For he will never send his brother away, even if it would be better for him if he did. It likely was unhealthy, how dependent they were on eachother, but it was a habit too ingrained in both of them by now for either of them to break. Not that he even wanted to do so.

[bythewaves]

"Mm. I'll come find you then." He wants some reassurance his brother isn't leaving too.