jikan_network | Video | un: nightwanderer

My care is never wasted if it helps someone feel less alone. I'm not immortal, but I can appreciate your experience.

[Less alone? Does he even deserve that? He smiles sadly.] My punishment is isolation actually. I'm more used to being alone than anything else these days.

Your punishment does not carry over to this world. [He's...making this up. Just go with it.] I have not agreed to it, regardless.

You wish to fight my punishment without knowing my crime. You are truly kind of heart.

Your crime is in the past. The man I see is kind and generous.

Kind and generous. There are so many who would argue that point but thank you for the kind words all the same. I truly do not deserve them.

If you ever wish to tell me why you are so hard on yourself, I will listen. I won't judge you for your past; only what you do now.

I honestly haven't told anyone here. [He doesn't know what they'll do when they know the truth.] Perhaps even you couldn't pardon me...

[He shakes his head then sighs.] I'll tell you. But only in person. Please.

Are you prepared? I am honored to listen any time.

[It can't be easy to reveal difficult truths. What he learns might hurt, but he is determined for it to not sway his opinion. Runyu has been nothing but sweet to him and to Mingye.]

No. I'm not. But I will tell you regardless since you are ready to listen.

[He shares his address with him.]

I will have tea ready for when you arrive.

I will be there soon.

[Keeping Runyu waiting would be impossibly rude. Xingchen changes into his white robes and makes the journey to the address, rapping on the door politely.]

[Going to the door, he greets him and lets him inside. He's once again wearing robes that are so pale silver they could practically be white. A slight shimmer can be seen on them but he pays that no mind as he leads him in to the table where tea is waiting for them.]

Thank you for coming.

[Pouring him some, he offers the cup before pouring his own.]

[Since white is a sign of mourning, the color suits the occasion. However not all robes are created equal! That elegant shimmer on Runyu's robes is noticed and Xingchen follows it with his eyes.]

Thank you for having me.

[He kneels down at the table and accepts the cup of tea, inhaling the fragrant brew.]

You are very brave, my lord.

Brave? No. I'm a selfish and cowardly monster.

[He doesn't do more than hold his cup, his eyes lost in another world as he stares at nothing in particular.]

This will be...a long tale. I ask for your patience.

[He shakes his head softly, not buying it. But he stays silent, sipping on the tea before he sets it down.]

You have it. Take as much time as you need.

[Nodding, he takes a moment then begins.]

My father was the Emperor of the Heavenly Realm. A man of great power but a man with a taste for women as well. My mother was one of his conquests and though he loved her briefly there was no loyalty to it.

My mother as well as her entire clan was in danger due to the jealousy of the Empress and her clan brutalized for my father's actions. And from that union I was born. A dragon just like my father.

She knew that if anyone was aware that I was a dragon that the wrath of the Empress would fall again. So when my dragon traits formed, for I was too young to be able to hide them yet, she would cut them off to hide me. In time, I did this to myself in the hopes I would no longer see her cry.

[He shifts his robes to the side and there's a horrifying patchwork of scarring on his chest.]

I still carry patches of scars to this day for I was too young then to have the energy to heal so much trauma to my body.

Fearing that my mother didn't love me, I ran away to cry. It was here the Empress found me.

[He pales and winces upon seeing the scars, lurching forward as if he means to tend to them. But he stops himself, settling again, his features darkened into a frown.

How could anyone be angry at a child? That he doesn't understand. The coupling that led to Runyu might not have been ideal, but do not blame the baby.]

What did she do to you? [There is fear in his heart and he looks ready to defend his friend - as if he can see the little dragon sitting before him.]

She asked if I wanted to run away. Then she gave me a medicine that erased my memories before destroying my mother's world. After that she took me to the Heavenly Realm where I had no idea what I'd lived through and was raised as my father's heir. But the Empress wasn't satisfied with this.

My brother was born and she wanted him to be the heir. She never let me forget that I was not her son. Xufeng was treasured. I was isolated. But I loved him and grew up understanding that this was simply the way things were. She was my mother but I was not her son.

With time he became the Fire Immortal and the God of War. My responsibilities left my largely alone as I tended to the night as the Night Immortal. He was free to do as he wished and be with who he wished and love who he wanted. I had a betrothed I'd never met and who hadn't even been born yet.

Many years later and Grape Elf saved my brother when he was attacked during his Phoenix Rebirth. He brought her to the heavens. Jinmi was naive and sweet, heavily in disguise with a hair stick to hide her identity. When I met her I was instantly charmed.

But...so was Xufeng even if he didn't realize it right away.

[Poor Runyu. How can he not blame himself for the destruction of his mother and that world? Xingchen would have more than a few choice words for the Empress!]

Were you ready to fight for your love? Or were you prepared to step aside as you had been forced to do for so long?

[Who would win in a battle between Fire and Night? Fires can die out, but Night always returns.]

I wasn't sure. I wanted to fight but it was my brother. And I learned that Jinmi was not capable of romantic love due to a pill she had taken at some point. Then everything changed when we learned she was my betrothed.

Suddenly I didn't wish to give her up. I wanted to fight for at least one thing to be mine. Just one.

[Runyu sighs softly.]

Jinmi couldn't become Immortal yet. She hadn't faced suffering. And so she was tasked to take Mortal Trials in order to experience suffering and understand what we do. There was danger to her though and Xufeng followed after. I could only wait. And during this time another Immortal, Yanyou, approached me. He revealed to me that my mother was alive and that she needed me.

I understand. [Fighting family - a loved one - would be an insurmountable task for someone with Runyu's heart and conscience. His brows knit at the next bit of info and he thinks, privately, that someone must want to cause Runyu great strife. But why? Was it the Empress?]

Of course. I would have made the same decision as you.

[Xingchen smiles a little, encouraging his friend.]

...how? [He blinks in amazement.] Was Yanyou to be trusted?

If you were to ask others then no. Even I didn't fully trust him. But I listened and I eventually followed to where he led. All the time I'd lost came back to me and I found her hiding away trying to get revenge against the Empress who scarred her face and also took her child. Through all of it she'd gone a little mad and she wanted my help to get her revenge.

I wasn't sure what to do. Her thoughts of revenge involved killing my brother. It weighed heavily on me. But I wanted to help her find peace as well as bring the Empress to justice somehow for all her crimes.

[Runyu closes his eyes then.]

It wasn't to be that way. Not the way my mother planned. The Empress found us and my mother died protecting me. She died in my arms and I felt ice run through me. So cold that I attacked the Empress. One of us would have died if Jinmi's father hadn't stopped us. That should have been the end of our conflict.

But she chose to threaten to kill my mother's people, including my two adopted brothers one of which is Yanyou. Unless I took the punishment on their behalf. A punishment meant for so many lives. They could be spared if I did so.

I agreed.

She tortured me before my brothers and my father only interfered when it seemed she would actually kill me. It was then I knew I had all the confirmation that I needed. There was no one who would fight for me. I had to do something instead.

...poor lady. [The words are said on a sigh and Xingchen shakes his head sadly. Trauma can cause cracks in minds and hearts. Sometimes the damage is so bad that the person loses their way entirely.]

You mustn't blame yourself for your mother's death. [He sits up a little straighter.] She did what any good mother would do. And your reaction was natural. The Empress has earned your fury.

[Xingchen believes in justice and Runyu deserves justice. His mother deserves justice.]

Runyu... [He aches to move around the table, but he keeps himself still. He must hear the entire tale.] What did you do?

She humiliated me because she knew that there was nothing I could do to stop her. But eventually her crimes came to light and she was stripped of her title and imprisoned.

Jinmi and Xufeng came back and she could be my bride now. But he'd realized his feelings and was determined to fight for her. There was no consideration to ask for anything I'd been through. None at all. So I put a plan into action after someone murdered Jinmi's father and his wife.

[His eyes slowly open but he doesn't look to the man across from him.]

The culprit looked like my brother but I knew it wasn't him. But that did not stop me from sending dreams to Jinmi to have her believe such. And while that was happening I was gathering allies in the Heavens. So on the day of our wedding my brother came to arrest me but instead I turned it around on my own father and staged an uprising. All people loyal to my father and brother turned against them to fight in my favor. My father could do nothing for I'd given him a poison to weaken him.

My brother fought me but before either of us could truly do anything Jinmi killed him, fully believing that he was her father's murderer. My father used the very last of his life to send one piece of my brother away so that he could hopefully be resurrected.

I had the Immortals on my side and I was made Emperor. Jinmi's pill had shattered though and she could only think about Xufeng and what she'd done to him. I tried and tried to heal her broken heart but she continued to dwell on him instead.

And I had the Empress put under house arrest. She wanted to commit suicide when she learned of all that had happened. [He lets out a bitter laugh.] I wouldn't let her. I wanted to live and suffer knowing that all her hopes and dreams had died with the men she committed great evils for.

Save for Jinmi's heart, everything was in my favor...

[His hands curl in his lap and, yes, there is the pain he had expected. From so many years of sorrow and neglect, Runyu had become bitter. He suspects something similar may have happened to a certain criminal in his world. Xingchen wrestles with himself, realizing that, no, he can't be as strong and certain as his beloved Zichen. Maybe that makes him weak, but this is the only way he knows how to be.]

Nothing was in your favor. [Power, prestige, followers who could be turned against him if he faltered for a moment...] What you had was revenge. Revenge doesn't heal. Revenge isn't justice.

What became of Lady Jinmi?

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-> [Action]

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cw: child abuse and self-harm

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