Video, UN: maglor

[bythewaves]

[ Embarassed elf is working very hard to seem very calm about this ]

To all who may have been accosted by an overly enthusiastic child last month, I apologise, for I knew only love and not fear at that age and was rather supremely spoilt. I hope I did not inconvience anyone overly, and I thank those who were so kind to me in turn.

Comments

[bythewaves]

I don't have to like it to agree. [ grumble ] And Uncle was a good king, it is true.

Better by far than Thingol. [ Fingon, too, but Maglor won't bring up his cousin ]

I doubt he thought that far ahead - tis true that the Girdle was strong, but I, too, doubt Melian could have held indefinitely.

[holdshisown]

I would never ask you to like all my decisions. [He looks almost amused when he says it.] The best king we could have asked for at the time.

Of course he was, it isn't like that's a very hard standard to meet. [Better not, it would just make him sad.]

One of his biggest faults that. Even if Melian could have held the Girdle until the end of time it still would have been prudent of him to plan for the possibility of it falling or someone circumventing it.

[bythewaves]

Oh good. [ He retorts cheerfully and hums acknowledgement ]

True. But I think you made the right choice, Nelyo. As hard as it was to bear at the time, I think it was the right one.

Mm, He wasn't very good at looking ahead in general, really....

[holdshisown]

It would be terribly naive of me to expect that. [With how stubborn and recalcitrant as his brothers could be at times he'd never expect them to be happy with all his decisions.]

It wasn't a choice I made lightly, I know some of our brothers believe I did so but it was a choice that needed to be made. The sooner that I did so the more room I had to actually make some demands for our rights as well. I didn't leave us completely powerless.

He was an arrogant fool.

[bythewaves]

You set us up remarkably well, although I doubt some of our brothers realised that.

Arrogant, short-sighted... [ He shakes his head ] I can't understand why anyone thought him a good king, especially towards the end. Perhaps in early days but...

[holdshisown]

They likely didn't realize how many people wanted nothing more than to see their heads mounted on spikes. Willingly ceding the crown gave me some room to actually negotiate for forgiveness for our family. [And looking as wretched as he did at the time had helped him buy some additional sympathy. It had probably been a bit manipulative on his part to use his torture in such a way, but there was very little he wouldn't do for the sake of his brothers wellbeing.]

Most of them had only ever known one king for their entire life. [And that king was Thingol. Those that had followed Denethor was not as fond of Thingol as those who had never left Doriath.] And most people don't want to see the less admirable sides of someone they've always held in such high regards.

[bythewaves]

[ He winces ] That... well. That's true. [ Not that they COULDN'T pay attention to what other people wanted, but... ]

Hmph. That might be true, but that they STILL uphold him is... irritating. [ to put it mildly ]

[holdshisown]

I'm glad I had something to bargain with. They didn't make it very easy to endear them to uncles people, perhaps if they had actually shown some remorse or made apologies without being prompted... [But his little brothers were proud and didn't much like to admit to being in the wrong.]

I agree with you, but... there's not much to do about it. They've already decided Thingol didn't have any hand in how things became as bad as they did and that all fault lies solely on our shoulders.

[bythewaves]

I don't think Curufin ever said sorry for anything in his life...

[ He makes a face and sighs ]

Fools, all of them.

[holdshisown]

Not to my recollection... [He pauses for a bit.] Unless he had something to gain by it.

[He shakes his head.]

There were entirely too many fools running around back then.

[bythewaves]

True enough. Or our parents made him.

[ Although even they stopped being able to gain such obedience eventually ]

Ourselves not the least. [ He sighs ] But I wish...

[ No point in wishing, he knows. But still... ]

[holdshisown]

That as well. He could be so very stubborn at times.

[Curvo had hated nothing more than being wrong, no matter how small a thing he had been wrong about.]

And me the biggest fool of all. [he let's out a brief humorless laugh.] I should have known better than to hope.

[bythewaves]

Well, that's true of all of us, but it's true Curvo was... rather moreso than most.

[ Maglor wonders now if it would have been kinder to name him something else ]

No, never, I won't hear you call yourself that. You were our leader, Nelyo. Our King without a Crown - who else needed to hold that hope for all of us?

[holdshisown]

That is so, our whole family was as stubborn as a pack of mules at the best of times.

[It would probably have been better if one of their parents didn't give him a name that didn't point out his likeness to their father.]

And yet all I ever led you to was ruin. Maybe if I had been less stubborn I could have found a better way, or been wise enough to see that it was a lost cause.

[bythewaves]

I suppose we came by it honestly, at least.

[ It probably would have helped the daddy complex... ]

You led nowhere I did not choose to follow. I understood, Nelyo, why you could not bear to stop.

[holdshisown]

I don't think anyone could claim otherwise.

[Maybe it would have given him more room to be his own person instead of trying to be their father.]

But I was the oldest, I should have known better.

[bythewaves]

And I was your second, was it not my role to give you the information you needed to make decisions? It is as much my fault as yours.

[holdshisown]

No! It wasn't your fault, Kano. You couldn't have known, but I should have. I had seen it after all, hadn't I? I was his prisoner I should have known better than anyone that we couldn't possibly win against him, but I just couldn't accept it! And how many people died for my arrogance?

[bythewaves]

"How? We all know Morgoth lies, Nelyo. And what choice did you have, when our Oath drove us ever onwards?"

[holdshisown]

"I saw what laid in wait inside of Angband. How could I not have known? I... I don't know. But I should have done something! Something other than what I did do."

[bythewaves]

"You were being tortured." Maglor points out flatly. "That you can remember anything at all about that time is frankly amazing. And Nelyo please, I truly don't think you could have done anything else."

[holdshisown]

"I should have..." Should have been stronger, should have been able to keep track of what was real and what was not. There was a thousand different things that he should have done but hadn't. "It doesn't matter anymore, I suppose. It's already over and done with by now..."

[bythewaves]

"It is." Maglor sighs softly. "There is nothing either of us can do now except move forward."

[holdshisown]

"A frightening enough prospect on it's own when you never thought there would be any moving forward after a certain point in your life." Surviving, even in a place like this, hadn't been something he expected to do and now he didn't quite know what to do with himself.

[bythewaves]

"I know. But I'm here for you Nelyo. This time, I'll help look after you."