un: matsukaze | video | dated Sept 29th

[leafwhistle]

[The video opens up to the sepia image of a pale young man with even paler hair sitting under what at a first glance might seem like an umbrella. The camera turns slightly and captures the image of a dark haired, beautiful man sitting close against him with his hands tightly gripped Kazuha's sleeve, and it becomes apparent that it's actually a hat.

It's raining, just slightly, enough to muddy the ground they're sitting on. It's a bit too late for them anyway— their clothes and parts of their skin are smeared with dirt and mud. Anyone a little more perceptive might notice some smears and stains are a bit darker and stickier looking than the shiny mud. That would be blood.

Kazuha's face has a calm smile, despite the fact he seems to look slightly ill. His companion probably has the most intense sulk ever caught on camera.]

I'm looking for recommendations or assistance with, ah... [His cheeks flush with embarrassment.] I've swallowed something and need it removed, hopefully without cutting into me. We've tried a few things, but unfortunately, I've not really been able to force a gag reflex.

[The young man next to him decides to add in his own comment—]

Preferably in under 24 hours... Moron here might not live long after that.

Comments

[negeotiation]

So it is solid then? He needs to see a doctor immediately. Why in the world would he swallow something toxic?

[lyingstars]

Very solid.

[He specifically avoids the doctor comment. It's not much of an option when the both of them were essentially holding each other hostage.]

Perhaps because he's an idiot.

[negeotiation]

Does it have sharp edges? Is it large?

[Does he really think Zhongli is going to drop it. RIP.]

[lyingstars]

It's not overly sharp, and it's small enough for him to swallow or we wouldn't be here.

[negeotiation]

[Please hold while he tries to wrap his poor 6000 year old brain around the fact that a mortal just swallowed a gnosis, thanks Kazuha.

There is so much he could say right now, but--]

...I do believe that you no longer have room to judge Childe or Signora for incompetency, at this point. How in the world did you manage such a thing? [The sigh he lets out as he rests a hand against his forehead is exasperated and baffled.] That he is a vision holder is probably the only reason he has not yet suffered ill effects.

[lyingstars]

[The absolute glare he is giving right now. One mistake on how to keep the Gnosis does not put him on the same level as Childe or Signora.]

And I'm not here to be judged by the Geo Archon! He put it in his mouth and swallowed it when I tried to take it back. He's lucky I didn't gut him on the spot.

[negeotiation]

The fact that you let someone eat a divine artifact from Celestia in the first place begs judging.

[Said as if he's honestly, genuinely amazed someone could lose a gnosis in such a way.]

Even I do not know what could happen to him.

[...Perhaps they were lucky, that this was not Teyvat. There was no way for anyone to connect to Celestia here.]

[lyingstars]

I didn't let him do shit. I merely misjudged his lack of a gag reflex.

One of two things is going to happen to him - either it comes out and he lives... or he doesn't. I don't care which.

[negeotiation]

And yet it somehow found it's way into his hands nonetheless. You kept it on your person where anyone could take it.

[At that last statement, his lips thin, his expression clearly giving away what he thinks of that.]

If he dies, it would be only further proof of your incompetence, would it not? It would be better to extract it without harming him.

[lyingstars]

Tch. I said I wasn't going to use it, and that seemed like the least tempting method to carry it. Something easily rectified.

[Where other than his pocket he could keep the thing he doesn't specify.]

How so? I fail to see how I am suddenly responsible for him, when this was entirely his doing.

[negeotiation]

Because then you will have to explain to others why you killed him, after asking advice of fellow refugees. Especially if the local samurai catch you, which they can with such evidence. People can come back to life here, from my understanding.

[he shakes his head.]

Carrying a gnosis on your person where any thief or cutpurse could seize it is rather ridiculous.

[lyingstars]

I'm not killing him, so at most it's neglect for his wellbeing. He's the one picking the method for how the Gnosis is coming out, not me.

I am aware of that now.

[acutabove]

I dunno, it still sounds pretty incompetent to me.

[ he may just sound a little smug about the whole thing. ]

[negeotiation]

Indeed it does. It's laughable, really.

[Why are their voices coming from the same device? Because they're in the same place right now.]

There are plenty of ways you could retrieve the gnosis without killing him, you just don't want to exert the effort.

[lyingstars]

I've tried everything to get it out without killing him, nothing worked. Why else would we ask for help.

[Y'know. Like asking for help wasn't entirely Kazuha's idea.]

And it's still better than anything you've ever done Tartaglia!

[Wait.

Hold on.]

...Why are you with the Geo Archon.

[acutabove]

[ there is a significant pause

y'know, for dramatic effect

and then, in a voice that's definitely not sarcastic, definitely not smarmy at all (except it totally is, 100%): ]

What are you talking about?

[negeotiation]

Besides taking him to a doctor, the obvious choice.

[There's a flatness to his tone as he speaks.

Though the last question gives him pause.]

That would be because we live together.

[lyingstars]

[He squints, ignoring Childe for a moment.]

We both agreed, no doctor...

[They. Live together. Is he hearing things? Did he yell too much and damage his own hearing?]

...

Why?

voice -> video

[acutabove]

[ he absolutely is going to switch to video just for this face. ]

It's none of your business.

Re: voice -> video

[negeotiation]

Why not?

[Zhongli can be seen peering in from the edge of the screen, looking perfectly calm-- if confused as to why this is a question.]

[lyingstars]

Right... An Archon is living with a Harbinger.

[As though he's not doing the same, but for very different reasons.]

I wasn't aware Tartaglia's stupidity impressed you that much.

[acutabove]

[ that's not the only thing that impresses him winkwonk ]

Awww, Scara, does it bother you that much? Are you jealous?

[negeotiation]

Is that so strange? And I am no longer an Archon, if you recall.

[Having a young lover who takes care of him and always comes home to him at night--

Retirement is great, thanks for asking.]

I am very fond of his company, to be perfectly honest. And he is an excellent housemate.

[lyingstars]

What would I be jealous for?

[There's a glare most definitely meant for Childe.]

Stepping down doesn't change what this is. It's weird. Though I suppose using him for housework would have some merit to it.

[acutabove]

[ just. this face. ]

Gross.

[ but he gives no response to it being weird, and actually he seems to take even greater joy in riling his coworker up. maybe it's revenge for Kazuha, in some small form. ]

You talk like that's all I'm good for...