Video, UN: Anonymous

[tightbod_bigrod]

[Said video post would occur sometime after a bout of loud, illegal fireworks going off in the Shinjuku area, promptly followed by the disappearance of the 7' tall penis statue in front of the exotic dildo store.

This completely anonymous villain is filming from a dark area, dress in all black with a kitsune mask covering his face and long, curly horns. He does his best Tseng impression using a voice modulator.]

Did anyone witness the brilliant fireworks show earlier?

Well, while you were busy watching the show, we took your beloved penis statue.

If you ever want to see it again, we demand one trillion gil and a gold chocobo. Bring it to the southernmost pier in Yokohama.

[He puts a finger over the mouth of the mask and the feed cuts.

...

Then the feed comes back on.]

Two gold chocobos.

[The feed cuts off.]

Comments

Video ; UN: P'Magnum

[50000baht]

[[Don't mind Kinn, he's too busy trying to catch his breath after laughing so hard]]

video | un: sincity

[patheticmeowmeow]

(( also laughing pretty hard. ))

What the fuck is a chocobo?

video; un: afairguy

[fairlyheroic]

[wait, wait, give him a few seconds, he's cracking up]

A trillion gil is a little steep, don't you think?

video, un: white heron

[mistsplitter]

[ Ayaka's response comes the morning after, when she finds the STOLEN DICK in her home. ]

Whoever you are, I vow to find you. I will not stand for this- whatever this is!

private video | un: bossturk

[necessarycruelties]

[ He watches the video carefully, paying attention to words, the modulated voice and the speech pattern, seeing if he can discern anything from that because the individual in the video has done quite well at disguising their appearance. On his first watch, nothing really stands out, so he watches it again.

It occurs to Tseng upon watching again that the voice sounds like a poor attempt at his own. And, upon this realization, he sighs... because this could only be one person.

He turns the camera on, and the face that Anonymous will see is the very disappointed face of somebody who may or may not be their boss. ]

Reno. [ A pause ] Was this really necessary? Do you really think a statue of a penis is worth one trillion gil and two gold chocobos?

un: god.of.death

[maxwellsdaemon]

[No words. Just laughter. Lots and lots of loud belly-laughing.

Duo is HIGHLY amused.]

Video; UN: Songbird

[song_princess]

[A slow sigh leaves her.]

I don't think you managed to get into my home. You could have stayed for some tea, my silly lord.

voice; un: exsoldierboy

[sultanofsquat]

[ He doesn't go to video. He's too red in the face for that. ]

You ain't gonna like the gold chocobo coming your way.

Video | un: warder

[beshackled]

[A grainy video offered gains one in response, and with the individual being masked, Erichthonios dons his mask as well. The feed starts with an image of the mask against his black robes, a dark-skinned hand reaching to grasp it to affix it to his face, yet-offscreen.]

I don't understand. Did the people who were fond of the anatomical statue cause you some offense?

Text; un: BurningRed

[thelastchoice]

Who's gonna wanna pay two chocobo for only one dick?

[ She doesn't know what a chocobo is, but that's not the point. It's not like this strange...ransom video has anything to do with her. Unsolicited criticism is really all she has to offer. ]